


In sickness and in health

by Maria1980



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: F/M, Illnesses, Love, Marriage, Support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:27:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26426368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maria1980/pseuds/Maria1980
Summary: Hello dear people. It's good to be with you again. The new idea has appeared in my head this week and I decided to give it a try. In this story, I will focus on how Charles and Elsie are dealing with the difficulties arising from his palsy.  We didn't get to see much on that in the series and as we know, in the movie, Charles was wonderfully cured from it ;-) This is going to be one shot. Not very long probably... I hope you will like it.
Relationships: Charles Carson/Elsie Hughes
Kudos: 2





	In sickness and in health

Charles knew exactly what was happening. He saw what that terrible illness did to him. How it ruined his life every single day. More and more each time....Being retired, as he was now, he had a lot of free time and he could easily focus on himself, which was not possible when he was working...He has already gotten over those difficult feelings, that he had in the beginning of his retirement, when he simply couldn't accept the fact that he wakes up in the morning and he has nothing to do. He managed to work his every day routine. Always finding something to do in the house or in the garden. The main goal was to keep himself busy. To have a reason to get up every morning and find something to do, while his wife was still working at the Abbey. 

Recently, she was gradually cutting her time spent in the great house, coming back for dinner every night and having her Sundays off, to spent it with him, which made him very happy and was fully approved by the family.  
Even so, she still had tons of duties and she came home tired everyday. On those particularly hard days, when she looked exhausted, he was watching her with a growing concern. She was so overworked and he couldn't help her in any way. At least not the way he did it, when he was still the butler. In those days, it often happened, that he was helping her, by taking some of her duties on him, just to give her time to rest. Unfortunately, now, he wasn't the butler anymore and knowing Mr Barrow, he suspected that he would rather add Elsie an extra work, than be willing to help her in any way.

Knowing that he can't help her at work, he decided to take over as many house duties, as he could. The situation was now completely different, than it was when they got married and both still working. He was expecting her to cook and take care of the house, not thinking how much effort that took from her. He was really embarrassed, when he reminded himself, how exorbitant his expectations were then.. He wanted to make it up to her now, somehow and he tried to do his best in the cottage. However, recently, things which used to be easy before and he had no problem of taking care of, were now slightly different...He suffered immensely...Not physically, but mentally...The terrible awareness, that he is not a help, but a burden for his wife, was the thought that terrified him as nothing else did before.. He loved Elsie with all his heart and he would have given her a star from the sky, if only she wanted it, but he knew her well enough by now, to know that being pragmatic as she was, Elsie didn't need a star from the sky. She needed a husband, who would be a help for her. Who would be capable of cooperating with her, to make their cottage life as pleasurable, as it could be.

There were days when walking her to the Abbey, he came back and wasn't able to do anything concrete, just sitting in his chair all day, because it was impossible to hold anything in his hand. Sometimes, when Elsie was coming back in the evening, from the house, she was finding the dishes from the breakfast in the sink, not washed. Not to mention about any dinner waiting for her. In those days, Charles was more embarrassed than usual. He almost always opened his mouth, to give her some explanation, why the situation was as it was, but he didn't want to worry her, by telling how the symptoms of his palsy has now got worse and worse. What was strange and he noticed it quickly, wondering about the causes, was that she never asked any questions, never tried to investigate, why it was how it was. He wasn't really sure how to interpret it...He scolded himself for being a coward, not capable of an honest conversation with his own wife, but days went by and this situation was still suspended...

Elsie was really worried...She saw all the signs of her husband's illness. Everyone of them. She noticed right away, how it got worse and worse everyday...She didn't say a word about that, because she knew how much of Charles's man pride is at stake, but she observed him carefully, waiting for a sign from him, letting her help him. But the days went on and on and he never let her know in any way, that he needed her help...

She didn't say a word, when she saw that he had sleeping problems. She was falling asleep very soon, after she put her head on the pillow, being tired after another day of hard work. Her duties were slowly, but effectively becoming too much to bear for her recently and she wondered about retiring soon. When she was waking up in the middle of the night, she was amazed, feeling that Charles was still awake and her heart clenched a bit, when she heard his heavy sighs and his tossing and turning on the bed. There were many times, when she was about to open her mouth, to speak with him about it, but she never did. Sometimes, when he was lying close enough to her and she felt his hand starting to tremble, she turned to his side and she squeezed his trembling hand in hers, which usually had a desired effect. When she touched him, he started to relax, breathe evenly and very often he fell asleep, rocked by the calming and silent presence of Elsie's love. In those times, they were holding hands until the very morning...

When they had breakfast together and he was so willing to help her in any way, to cut the bread or do something else, knowing that she has another hard day of work ahead of her, he sometimes wasn't able to finish those tasks and she saw how much that costed him. How nervous he was, but she always found a way to solve those situations. She simply asked him to sit comfortable, telling him that this is her only chance of spoiling him a bit, as a wife should. His radiant smile met with her sigh of relief. She always knew the best how to handle him and he seemed oblivious to the fact, that always, Elsie managed to resolve any difficult situation, the way she wanted exactly, leaving him in a state of being convinced of his wisdom.

When she came back from work, she always could tell how he spent his day. Whether he was able to do anything in the garden or not. Of course, she always remembered to praise his every little effort. She knew how much he liked to be praised. As every man does.  
When they were drinking their afternoon tea together, on Sunday afternoons, and she saw how suddenly, out of nowhere, his hands were becoming so shaky, that it unable him to hold the cup and he did everything he could to hide it, she started to do some nonsense talk, about anything, just to break the ice and to end this awkward atmosphere. It was much worse, when sometimes he had to interrupt the dinner, looking for some excuse, when his trembling hand wouldn't let him keep the cutlery. He got so pale on those moments and left the room, coming back when the attack ended...

Often, she wondered, if this was the right solution. Elsie spent her all life, never avoiding difficult questions, when there was a problem, she didn't pretend that it doesn't exist. She was trying to find the best, possible solution. It worked well all her life, however now, seeing the difficult state in which Charles was in, she simple buried her head in the sand, thinking that it was for his own good. That he would be too embarrassed to talk about it openly. She would be more than happy, to talk things over, to figure out the solution, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings. Elsie knew that Charles was the man, who thought that taking care of his wife is his duty. That he should be a solid rock for her, not the other way round. So she stayed silent, falling into line of his routine...  
Their unwritten arrangement would have probably went on and on between them, while they both would avoid the subject, but during one night, the events which occurred, made Elsie broke the silence...

It was on one Saturday night, the night which they always felt the most relaxed, because Elsie was not working on Sunday's and they knew they can go to sleep late, as Sunday mornings were free from the usual hastiness..  
When they finished to read their books and they turned off the light, Charles got closer to Elsie, kissing her goodnight, but it was not the usual, chaste kiss, that he gave her every night. The kiss was prolonged from his side and his hand started to wander around her body, learning her curves.. When Elsie felt that, she knew that Charles was giving her a signal, that he wants to make love to her....Their love life was so limited these days, with Elsie being constantly exhausted after a daily routine and Charles, who spent his life in service, just like she did, was very understanding about the fact..

Most often, the desire of being close from him or from her, appeared on Saturday nights...That was one of those cases...When Charles kissed her that way, Elsie knew that he wanted the closeness and she was as willing as he was...His kisses very swiftly ignited a fire inside her...The waves of pleasure flooded her body, when his lips caressed hers...By now, Charles knew exactly what to do caused her excitement...When their kisses transferred into a huge feeling of desire in both of them and they were about to take their intercourse on another level, suddenly Charles was caught with another palsy attack...Seeing that it's coming, he immediately moved away from Elsie, mumbling something about a sudden need of sleep..  
Elsie figured that enough was enough. Things couldn't go on the way they were now. It was intolerable. Charles turned his back on her, but she heard his quiet sobb, in the overwhelming silence of the night. 

“Charles...Can you please turn to face me. I want to talk...”

“Elsie...I want to sleep..I'm tired..-Charles tried his voice to sound normal, but he failed...”Is this all right?”

“No Charles...It's not all right. We have to talk..”

He reluctantly turned her way and she started her speech...

“Charlie...Things can't go the way they are anymore...Do you think that I can't see what's going on with you? How your condition has gotten worse recently?”

“Elsie...I don't know what you are talking about...”

“You know exactly what I'm talking about Charlie...I'm not in the cottage a lot, because of the work, but I see what's going on...How difficult it is for you to handle some things...What I don't understand, is why you are rejecting me and don't want to talk...”

“There is nothing to talk about Elsie...”

“Isn't there really? In that case, how will you explain what happened few moments ago?”

“Nothing happened...I just felt a need of sleep, that's all..”

“That's not all Charlie...And you know it...Normally, you would never break such moment between us..Never..”

“What do you want me to say Elsie? Do you want me to let you know something that you already figured out by yourself? That you have married a vital man and you ended with a disabled one, who can't even wash the dishes, hold the cup of tea or do any garden work on some days! Is that what you wanted to hear?! Or do you want me to tell you, that I'm not even capable of making love to my wife?...Which of those things you would like to hear from me?!!”-Charles was irritated, as never before...

“What I would like to hear Charles, is that you know that I'm aware of your condition...There is no need to hide it from me, which you constantly do, because I'm fully aware of it...I know that you have better and worse days...We all do..Whether we are suffering for palsy or not...I want you to be honest with me...I'm your wife...I love you...I want you to feel free with me...Not protecting me...I don't need to feel protected. I need to feel that my husband is happy and sincere with me..I'm the only person on this world, with which you you don't need to hide your true feelings...”

“I know that Elsie...But...But I want to be useful...I want to help you...You are so tired...So overworked...You should get a help form me and what do you have?...A cripple, that can't do anything.. Not even make love to his wife, when she wants it...”

“Charlie....I can assure you, that you can make love to your wife and you proved it more than once to me love..Furthermore, you are doing it wonderfully..”-Elsie stroked his cheek gently...”You need to stop being so hard on yourself...You were always like that..Worrying about not letting anyone down...But this is the moment in your life, when you can let go...I'm here for you...To help you...I don't care if there are days that you are not able to wash the dishes or to do garden work..We can work these things together...That is what marriage is all about...”

“But I'm the one who should take care of you...That's the husband's role..”

“No Charlie...We both should take care of one another and please don't ever forget that...You are always there for me when I need you and please let me be there for you too...Don't pretend that you are all right, when you are not...There aren't any situations which can't be solve...Whatever we are about to face, we will face it together...Because we love each other and take care of each other..Till the end of our lives...”

“Elsie...I...I don't know what I would have done without your love...I'm not sure how I have lived so many years without it...It seems impossible now...”

“Charlie....”-Elsie touched his hair, brushing away his curl..”Do you really think, that all these years, when we were not married, you have lived without my love?...Because, I can assure you that's not how it was...”

“My wise wife is always right...Deep inside, I always knew that I had your love..I constantly felt your love and care..Throughout all our mutual years...As you always had mine...”

“And that's how it should be Charlie...As we pledged...Together, forever...In sickness and in health..”

**Author's Note:**

> That's all for today friends...I hope that you liked the story..This is how I would imagine Elsie taking care of Charles and his palsy..He would be reluctant to talk about it and she would do anything she could to make it better for him...Sorry for any mistakes that might have occurred. If you liked it, please let me know..And see you soon!


End file.
